Nights

My nights are definitively worser than my whole day.
I don't sleep anymore, skin goes wild, I have a huge burden on my chest, I feel it empty, I have one million of thoughts. Just driking makes me feel a bit easier, and I'm very aware that it is another issue covering another issue that I will have to deal with soon.

I lost that feeling that I had someone by my side, but sincerally, when did I had?
I deal with all alone since always, I'm the sad strong lone wolf type, I never tell how I really feel to anyone so they don't see my weak side and can rely on me more, the few ones I did told, they abused me or took all they wanted from me like Angelica, Paulo, Michelle and others...

I'm a loyal fool with no one by my side anymore.
Everyone had what they wanted from me, I'm not necessary anymore.
This includes my parents.

Morning

My morning is not being good.
I already "woke" with my mother yelling at me for no reason at 9am.
"Wake up your lazy, you do nothing of your life"

I put woke between quotes because I couldn't sleep, too hot and too wounded,
not a good combination, it made me my skin go to shit, even more than yesterday.

My leg still hurt very much from my fall of the stairs. It is not dark or anything else
but the wound is a bit deep.

Today

I'm not paying attention to anything anymore.
My head is having too many thoughts.

It made me fall from stairs... twice.
I hit my right leg pretty bad, it is bleeding still.

I messaged her some times today, I really fucked up everything,
I had done a huge scar on her.

If there was someway to repair those issues i gave...
I could give my life for.

Some things never change

Quite a while I don't type anything here, huh?
I guess is no issue anymore, no one reads it anymore.

This blog always had been a place to type my sorrow, my anguish, my feelings, I guess it will keep like this forever, once again I'm here to say that I'm not ok.

I feel very empty, sad, I dont even feel like to eat, i just do to avoid people asking me why I'm not.
I screwed up, or not, I dont know.
I'm not so sure of what I did or did not.

But some things are certain:
I'm so lovesick by that woman that I can't stop thinking on her.
I'm annoying.
I'm hopeless.

Welcome back

Welcome back to my blog =)

I will start to post again here my thoughts and what i did on my day ^^

Off

Will be away from this blog for a time.
Nothing good came from it since it started.

Stupid me

Why? :(
How?

Tired of asking...tired of nagging, tired of faking myself, tired of not express myself, im tired of being alone.
Im in urge to be with someone, a partner, friend, a support, a love, but i cant have, i hate all, i hate most myself.

Thrash life!