Work day

Today i started doing a very very easy final exam of psichology: "How will be technology in 7 years based on what we know now"

Gosh =D  Was freaking easy, i could write 4 pages and more!!

Then got in home and started to work on the blog, oobviously after opening windows, cleaning my room, lunching and washing dishes ;)

Logged on messenger and kept talking to someone special  untill now ^^
Poor you ;~;  head aches *pats and kiss forehead*  will get better, im sure ^^

Damn >_<  i got too focused on the blog thing and then suddenly my neighbor asked to use internet quickly cause he got his internet cut, i didnt paid much attention to my love :(

I will just focus on her tomorrow, will be a day off for her >_<

Layout

Hi folks :)
Im testing a new layout for my blog, it looks so much better now. I loved <3
Tell me what you think about it on the comments.

Stupid Me!

SHIT!!! SHIT SHIT!!!

I cant believe she got online when i was in the other room watching a series Dx
I shouldnt have watched it!!! It made me a precious time with my honey!
I thought she wasnt going to be online because the time! Stupid me!! Damn! I need stay more!

I hope she do not thinks im mad with her, im not and hopes more she didnt got mad :'(

Thoughts

My skin is horrible, very, yesterday i didnt slept cause that (see last post) and scracthed myself a lot :(
And today the wheater didnt helped a single bit, was extremely hot till 2pm, now is raining and winding, result?  I get even worse :(

Things betwen me and my honey still not that ok :/
I dont want to comment much about it, i just know is not ok yet.

I pray for her everyday now, but in the deep i know that pray will not solve anything, but what else i can do? I will do anything i can, if is pray, i will.
You will get over this honey :) Im sure, with my help or not.

Personal Talk

Which kind of boyfriend am i?
Which kind of relationship is this?

Things are just complicated and more complicated between us, i feel that everyday we are more apart,
and im such dumbass...always saying or doing something to hurt her.... she doesnt need that, she has
enough problems so i cant turn into one more...but seems im :'(

She trusts me less and less, tells me almost nothing about what she did, feelings or whatever is happening.
I trust her all...all she asks i tell and do and even more sometimes, is not enough?

Why she is so complicated?
Why im such jerk?

Those aswears lies within each one of us, i dont want hurt her more, i love her very much, but seems
im blind by this love and im hurting her :'(  Im starting to hate love, im completely over her, desperate to
have her in my arms, feeling hurt, a complete idiot, guilty for all said and did wrong, happy for having her
as my girfriend, blind for her to the point to not even cumpliment other womans and have dreams of us together... In short, i feel love, hate, sadness, happyness all same time and im dying cause of it...

No matter the bad points in this relationship, and down moments, all i want is her and her love... i cant live without it, cant live without her, hope i didnt ruined things this time :'(
All i do is cry cause of what happened, waited all day like a dog for her and the day ended with her mad, sad and "god knows more what" with me and the things that happened to her.

Reflexion

Im so worried with her, so worried of losing her, worried of the things that happened lately...
Worried with many things. but mostly in how is going my relationship with her

Yet i hear clearly the words coming from her, as coming from me "i love you"... i can hear a faint sound coming from the back saying "you hurt her" "you are bad to me" "why you do that?" "why dont you undertsand?" "dont leave me" "dont hurt me" ...

Gosh...is so hard to feel in love, so painful, but she, she is worth of any pain, any sacrifice...
I dont give up on her, i hope she never gives up on me..i hope.... she didnt gave up already...

I have so much plans for us, i wanna spend my time and feelings with her, being faithful and trustful, im already all of that, im sure of that, i see that but is my truth the real thing, am i showing that? Is she seeing that?
How can i proper show to her?  Am i a bother? my friends are?

I do hope things get better son, i do hope she gets better son, she cant hide from me that she is depressed, but hides very well of what and why she is depressed...

The worst of all is knowing that im sure, im guilty of part of her sorrow... this kills me... the one i should protect, im hurting... i wanna see a light on this darkness to light up her path, so she can see how good and
beauty is the things ahead of her, i dont mind being in darkness, or even alone, gosh, im alone since i born.
She is the first real company i have, must be cause that i hurt her... i still dont know how to deal correctly with people, specially the one i love. I wanna learn how to deal, how to care, i wanna be better and better, she cant leave me... i dont want to, she doesnt want to... but things just seems to go toward this path...

"Your smile is so resplendent

That made my heart happy

Hold my hand for we get out from this terrible darkness

Since the day i meet you,

I remember of that beautiful place

Which in my infant was special to me

I wanna know, if with me you should dance

If you give me the hand i will take you

Through a path full of darkness and light

Maybe you can not notice

But my heart is all over you

Because it needs, someone to show it

the love you can give it

My happy heart beats

By a universe of hope

Hold my hand, the magic await us

I will love you for all my life

Come with me by this way

Hold my hand for we get out from this terrible darkness"

No matter how i look things, this explains all that i want now, that i feel, what i see when i think on you...

Take my hand... lets get out of this deep darkness honey

Finally back

I finally have my intermet back :D
Got a new hair cut
Lita's gift finally came after 10 days ^^

But the best of all is being able to talk to my honey normally again ^w^
Yeeeiiii


Today she seems a bit off :/  .. i mean.. i feel something is wrong...